CHAPTER 11,130.40

Every morning I drink a cup of coffee on the back deck covered in dew, watch spider webs stretched from the deck rails to the pine limbs sway in the light breeze, and listen to baby dragons squeak in the maples surrounding my too-much-to-push-mow land.

I live Up North!

For those of you who have no idea what I’m talking about, let me help. Up North is a Michiganian term for anywhere north the approximate 43.016193 latitude line of Michigan. It’s a place where the deer have as much right to be there as humans (not during hunting season), woods surround the little cottage you’ve either rented or own, and is usually found on a vast amount of land. Up North is an annually planned weeks’ vacation away from the normal, stressed-out life of yelling bosses, feeding the kids, and soccer games—I guess you still need to feed the kids.

The local towns might have one traffic light, a general store, and a bar. Very important. Anyone who lives in the area knows everyone’s pooping schedule and all residents help the locally owned shops and trades. “I got a guy for that,” is a typical statement in these small towns cozied in between wild forest and small creeks for fishing.

Up North is the place where the day’s sky is clear and unpolluted. At night, it’s dark as a cave and the only lights are the stars shining down from the heavens, while aliens circle the moon. Weird creatures squawk, growl, and hoot. Tree pollen makes you sneeze and the morning dew moistens (you’re welcome, Jess) any piece of clothing left out overnight. Up North is a place of peace and serenity, where a flannel in the evening sitting on the front porch rocker with a Glencairn glass filled with bourbon settles the mind for a good night’s sleep. There is no need for the Calm’s app chirping crickets, as God’s little insects provide a natural melody the whole twilight through.

This is where I live now, with one exception—once I leave my little no street light subdivision, if that’s what we call it, we not only have the locally owned brick and mortar shops mentioned above, but there are myriads of banks, grocery stores, restaurants, a Tractor Supply; hell, there’s even a Walmart and a Whole Food.

 I live in a little witch cabin with cedar planked siding on a near an acre of land. One neighbor feeds a herd of deer every morning and every evening, while another feeds the chickens and rooster. This is my new life.

I am Home!