CHRISTMAS CARDS

Ah, the holidays. They are finally upon us and it’s almost as though they arrive the same time every year.

With all that love and cheer wafting through the air, the holidays also bring the grandeur of writing and sending The Sacred Christmas Card to kick off the festivities.

Isn’t it such a beautiful experience to spend with your special loved one as you share pleasantries with your favorite humans?

The process…

Write—Stop Stealing the Pen!

Stuff—Why Won’t it Fit in the Stupid Envelope?

Lick—My Tongue Wasn’t Meant for This.

Stamp—Gotta Love the Postal Service

Sitting at the small table, instead of the huge counter with bar stools hidden underneath, was our first mistake in the greeting writing process. Several packs of glittery and festive tree cards were scattered over the table’s surface leaving little room for the fifteen-year-old broken spine address book with miscellaneous return labels falling out the edges.

Our myriad stamp collection consisted of Star Wars, American Flags, Holiday Toys, and Bunny Rabbits. (We don’t discriminate in this house.) Four black pens stood ready and waiting in the pen well—you know, in case one dries out with all the Happy Holiday wishes and signing. And glitter. Oh, the glitter.

I don’t think I can adequately explain my hatred for glitter. It gets on your fingers, then you touch your eye, and now you have glitter eye shadow and glitter tears. Sparkly tiny specs everywhere. On the dogs. Clothing. The why did I bother vacuuming the floor, glitter. The crap gets in your hair, and miraculously, in your underwear, and various other places we shouldn’t talk about. Bottom line…I despise glitter!

While covered in glitter, we wrote merry greetings through the argument over where’s the damn pen? And Who is this for? question…again. There was the heated discussion of legible handwriting and a quarrel over dried tongues. You lick for a while! Let’s not forget the stuffing of the precious card into the tiny envelope. Do these things even match?  

Ahh, the joys of Christmas! And even though the Excedrin and a couple glasses of wine took care of the smoldering headache and cramped hand muscles, but not the glitter, I’m grateful that we had so many friends and family to bicker over. Totally worth it.