It’s a new year, and gosh darn it, I’m going to show you how you don’t need anything more than a screw driver, a rubber mallet, and half of an empty wreath container to fix all your problems.
I’m not blaming anyone for the 2022 several mishaps that occurred in this household. Okay, I do blame one person, but give me a moment to get into that one.
I woke up on the 2nd day of the new year to a too large puddle of water in my basement due to a broken humidifier line. The refrigerator’s ice maker got constipated. And my wash machine quit its job like 34% of Americans (slight exaggeration) and decided it didn’t like working here any longer. (For the record, this household does not employ more than one hundred persons; so, it’s reason for partaking in the mass migration is beyond me.)
Happy New Years!!
My good friend is a firm believer in eating black-eyed peas on New Year’s Day. When she was here for the “world is ending” party the year prior, I made those stupid peas or beans or legumes. And you know what it got me?
A very messy toilet.
So, of course, I thought my friend’s silly Jack and the Bean Stalk meal was for the bunnies. No reasonable-minded person should have that many gut-goobers come out of them in one sitting. Well, maybe she was right. The world didn’t end the way we all expected. And like the Mayans of 2012, we’re still here waiting for the inevitable.
2022 is a whole new ball game.
- I bought a new humidifier hose. Repair complete.
- I chipped out the frozen block from the ice maker entrance, and boom, we got normal ice cubes again.
- And finally, I watched a YouTube video, which means I’m an expert on wash machine repairs.
The bolt was so stuck, it zipped the drill into my shin, which literally made me cry. I had to admit I could not fix my own washer and called a repair service. Ten days later, a part was ordered and I still don’t have clean underwear. But then it hit me—I’m a pioneer woman. I can do anything. Who needs those peas? Or beans? Or legumes? A vegetable?
Science can fix everything!
If my seventh-grade science teacher was correct, then bacteria doesn’t live in tundra conditions. I watered down a few pairs of underwear, a couple shirts, and the sweat pants that were practically walking on their own, placed it in a plastic wreath container, and left my wet clothes outside overnight. Wait for it; it gets better. I then threw the now-frozen ball of laundry, potentially bacteria free, into my still-kicking-butt-working dryer. Now, I’m not sure how clean that underwear actually got, but it’s better than turning them inside and backwards for longer wear time.
The moral of this story is, listen to your insane friend and eat the damn black-eyed peas on New Year’s Day.
It’s simple science.
The bolt?