GESUNDHEIT

The Spring Equinox occurred this past week like clockwork and I’m telling you right now, I am not picking up what that nasty old hag is laying down. Mother Nature is crazy and I’m not listening to her nonsense any longer.

Warm. Cold. Windy. Warm. Cold. Make a decision, Lady!

Bottom line, I refuse to celebrate the Spring Equinox.

No! Not doing it.

Until Mother Nature and her clan of hooligans get their crap together, it’s still winter as far as I’m concerned. Period.

I’m cold and crabby. And there is no reason, Ms. Nature, that I need gloves to walk the dogs when the trees are budding and pollens are infiltrating my sinuses.

Sneeze. Gesundheit.

Sorry, need to blow my nose again. Where was I? Yes. The joys of pollen, I mean, Spring.

The birds, and you know the type, the ones that flew up from the South, and are flying around wondering why the heck they left Virginia, are obviously in dismay too. They’re making twig blankets instead of nests. (For the record, I’m not exactly sure the geographical location of where robins hibernate with bears in winter.) Clearly, I’m not an Ornithologist, which I had to google. Apparently, it’s someone who studies birds. You’re welcome.

It’s as though no one told Ms. high-on-her-horse Mother Nature that warm weather is necessary in order to feel good about spring cleaning. Otherwise, it’s just cleaning. Duh! And don’t get me started on piles of leaves blown into the corners of the flower beds that I can’t pick up because our precious bees are trying to keep warm. How can I wash windows when the hose is still frozen?

I’ll give it one more week, but that’s it. After that, I’m moving to…let’s be honest, I’m not moving again after the last catastrophe. Now, if you’ll excuse me; I need to dust all the ceiling fan blades, wash the cabinet doors, dust the door frames, and curse out Mother Nature through dirty windows.