I asked God for a gift,
Many moons ago,
“Bestow me a heart
That helps the world grow,
To eliminate prejudice, bias. No more.”
“Armed with your power,
I’ll soften the surface of those hardened before.
To fill them with purpose, and abolish war.”
So perfect, on cue,
God gave me his Gift,
With morals, ethics, and virtue.
Confident and sincere, I headed out.
Knowing little of what humanity was really about.
I smiled. I laughed. I was firm and true.
But muffled snickers scoffed in jest.
“I was wrong. This is not my job to do!”
I was given a gift to prove,
That honesty and ethics prevail.
I reach. I give. I lose.
How am I blessed?
This gift I must refuse.
Intending a refund, a regretful decline,
Ripped red ribbon and salvaged paper, torn.
Dull child scissors and a broken box.
“Please, ALL, please, take this obligation back!”
“My heart was immense.
Shattered it has.
They judged and teased.
Why didn’t they see?
I was just trying to be me?”
Cradling the Gift,
Embraced in ALL’s arms.
It seemed so small and insignificant somehow.
I kneeled before Him,
Grateful a load’s been lifted.
My strength fulfilled. I started to rise.
He held out His hands,
And twisted them counter-clockwise.
God looked past my eyes, penetrating my soul.
He held my Gift, and it began to grow.
I sank to my knees, bruising bones below.
God gave me a Gift,
He made it my role.
“Why God, Why? I don’t want to hurt.”
Your wish was granted, not from magic or mist.
The prayer was answered.
You must finish the list.
Machines have been set. Its motions flow.
The wheels are turning. It’s not your time to go!
Bewildered and disgruntled,
I left God’s Grace, menace in hand.
My head held low, God’s wish, His command.
This burden I bare is mine alone.
This burden is mine, unable to disown.
Once a promise, If only One,
Must I keep.
I’ll soothe rigid hearts,
Full of torture and defeat.
They’ll scoff and battle,
Fight to the dying end,
But with God’s help,
A Promise, I’ll defend.
God is with me, ALL won’t let me fail.
I’ll fulfill the promise,
Made many moons ago,
And harvest the seeds,
The Seeds, are mine to sow.
-RA Dolence, 2018