MAUWIDGE

Whenever I hear the word marriage, I think of the priest in Princess Bride.

If you haven’t seen this movie, shame on you. Go immediately to your favorite streaming application and watch the best movie of all time.

The reason I bring this up is my anniversary is this week. Twenty-six years. Please don’t applaud, just send money—as the old cliche goes.

It hasn’t been an easy road, despite what outsiders might think. You see, we were taught by our parents—one, to keep our issues behind closed doors, and two, I don’t remember number two. Maybe it was keep an open line of communication or listen to your spouse, or something like that. Who really remembers details?

My parents had been married for over fifty-five years, and hers, sixty plus years. And call me crazy, but I don’t think either of our parents had a perfect relationship. I’m quite sure there were some hiccups on that long together-journey, to say the least. In my case, I’m sure those hiccups occurred around my teenage years, but I’m not asking mom about that anytime soon.

Why would you throw in my face that you’ve been in a long-time loving relationship for so long, you might ask. Well, here’s the thing. I’m at that age where most of my friends are empty-nesters and if you pay attention to those Hallmark movies, you’ll learn that sometimes relationships have issues.

All of a sudden, according to the movies, you realize that you and your spouse have disconnected over the years taking little Timmy to flute lessons or tiny Tammy to soccer practice. Maybe you’ve baked too many cupcakes for the kids and forgot about your dearest love picking up the balloons for the party. Now, all the kids are gone, and what the heck do you have in common with that spouse of twenty years? You don’t even know each other anymore.

I think the safest thing to say is, you’re not alone.

Eyes may wander. A hand-crafted canoe might get built in the garage. Careers change. Food cravings change. “OMG, I didn’t know you like shrimp tacos. When did that happen?”

As dorky as it might sound, my wife is my best friend. And like best friends, we laugh and perform choreographed fighting scenes on public beaches. Sometimes, we argue like our opponent is the six-fingered man, but we wind up forgiving and occasionally forgetting. Sometimes we sit in the living room, playing games on our phones because sharing each other’s energy is the perfect evening. Ultimately, we tolerate the other’s idiosyncrasies, because we love them for who they are, not who we want them to be.

Yes, it’s that simple.

I’m no marital expert, but humans grow and change. It’s our nature. The key is to keep up with your spouse’s evolution, all while enjoying your own. And if none of that works, rewatch the Princess Bride, turn to your love and announce, “As you wish”.