THE CYCLE OF LIFE

A duck, a pigeon, and a bunny walk into a bar.

Wait, that’s not how it goes. Maybe more along the lines of, “a duck, a pigeon, and a bunny rented space at the RADolence residence.”

My new friend Evelyn, the duck, is incubating her eggs under the pine tree bush thingy (that’s a technical term) off the front porch. I put up a sign for the delivery service people to please leave package on walkway, so not to disturb the new mother. (Evelyn’s profile is shown above). The front porch is off limits to humans, but not other creatures—which we’ll get into in a moment. .

Ethel, my bird brain friend, is a thieving pigeon, who stole the majority of my front door wreath to build her nest in the gutter, right where the two tiers of metal intersect. Dumb bird! If a severe rain storm occurs, Ethel’s offspring may not make it. But in all honesty, I wish her well. Actually, every time I go outside, I look up, say hello, and tell her she owes me a new wreath, which I can’t take down or fix because I don’t want to freak out the dumb duck off the front porch.

Moving from bird brains to bunnies, let’s talk about my precious Martha. She was born and nurtured under the picky, I-want-to-rip-out-these-stupid-shrubs (also a technical term), in the back yard last year. She is the only one of four babies that survived. (I know, because I buried her siblings on separate incidences in the pet cemetery field next to the house.) Now, she lives under the giant mushroom bush on my neighbor’s property…and poops all over my backyard. The dogs love those little morsels. It’s gotten to the point that every time I pick up dog poop, I scoop rabbit droppings onto the shovel as well. Ugh! Anyway, Martha is doing well and her kids are hopefully playing nice in the sandbox, or shall I say, the grass-box in the front yard.

It may sound like I’m complaining about the nursery, not a greenhouse, but in reality, I feel privileged that these tiny little creatures entrusted me to protect them from the dangers of the world. And by dangers, I mean people. We all know that not all of our neighbors would take the time to help our nature friends maintain a healthy ecosystem; though, I’m not too upset about the red-tailed hawk taking care of my mole problem.

So, I will continue to mow a two-foot circle around Martha’s babies. The neighbors won’t think anything of the tall grass in the middle of the lawn. They probably think I was drinking while mowing anyway. No biggie.

The porch will stay clear of packages and scary delivery services for Evelyn. And as far as Ethel is concerned, I’ll cheer her on, Warm those eggs! Warm those eggs! But deep down, I know that pigeon is dumb as rocks.