The Oscars were on last night and I found myself pacing.
“What is your problem?” she asked after the fourth lap around the first floor.
Finally, I sat down and realized what my problem was; I wanted to be there. And by there, I don’t mean necessarily dressing up to the nine’s, spending all day in an uncomfortable outfit, and smiling at cameras on the red carpet. (Though, it doesn’t sound so bad.) The yearning desire to stand rather than sit was more about hoping for the day that I can announce that I’ve made it and won my own battle.
The feeling is similar to a high school kid dreaming of getting drafted and seeing himself playing with the big boys in the big league on a big Sunday when all eyes are on that team, that player, that one play that scored the winning touchdown or the one defensemen that stopped it.
When I watch the Science Channel and listen to a super smart something-ologists, I bet when they were young, they had an overwhelming interest in that ology and their peers, maybe even their peers’ parents snickered at the young mind searching for something greater than themselves. Eventually, that desire to learn turned into a career, and wouldn’t you know it, now they’re being interviewed on a huge stage for all the knowledge and research they’ve accumulated over the years. Wow! Can you picture that feeling of success? Because I can. I felt it watching the Oscars yesterday.
I wonder what it feels like to sit in a room full of people but you have no idea they’re there, because your face is on a big screen in the center of an audience that you forgot existed and all your focus is on the name your wishing is announced. Your name–despite all those other experts or ologists that are craving that same award. Then you hear it. The winner. And in the moments that follow, you feel rushed and you barely have time to get on stage and collect your reward and proclaim your gratitude. It’s a speech that you’ve forgotten because your nerves shake your limbs and your fingers can hardly hold the written speech you’ve recited so many times in your bedroom late at night when no one was watching.
Now, I can’t sit and stand too close to the television, hoping one day I’ll succeed in my own career. Because that person in the spotlight and the many other speeches I hear that night motivate me to continue, to not give up.
Though some might not agree with this particular award recipient, Lady Gaga gave a powerful acceptance speech. The one that moved me even closer to the living room screen. She said,
“If you are at home and you are sitting on your couch and you are watching this right now, all I have to say is that this is hard work… I’ve worked hard for a long time and it’s not about winning. What it’s about is not giving up…If you have a dream, fight for it. There’s a discipline for passion, it’s not about how many times you are rejected or you fall down or you’re beaten up, it’s about how many times you stand up and are brave and you keep on going.”
Lady Gaga was one of many Oscar recipients who thanked someone for helping them become a success. It’s a team effort. No one can make this journey alone. You see, I’ve heard the snickering behind my back. I’ve overheard the other room conversation, “She needs a real job,” amongst other things. Yet, here I am, still fighting, because like those athletes who dream of grandeur on the big stage, or the scientists that wants to find a cure or overturn evidence that can change our history, I too want my words, both written and verbal, to transcend time and bring out emotions in people they forgot existed.
Let’s raise a glass and cheers to ourselves. Each one of us. We struggle everyday to reach our potential, to pay a bill, to make dinner, to take the kids to practice, to sleep peacefully. Some of us will make it. Some of us won’t. But either way, we have to keep getting up after being beaten down. I think we need to find gratitude for all those friends and family members who believe in us. Some of them might never be inspired, but hopefully, we stay upright and fight to the bitter end.
Go Team!