And There’s A Day After That Too!
And Tomorrow is Another Day…
I’m Pretty Sure.
Have you read any of those Daily Affirmation calendars to stay happy, focused, and grateful? Spent hours reading books about the Law of Attraction? Studied meditation for a clear mind?
Me too, and I think they’re all crap.
Gratitude, Smat-i-tude.
I mean, who can stay positive all the time? Life happens. Kids want to eat, again. The full bin of rotting food and undesirable garbage tips over in the middle of the driveway the day before pickup. The boss is a jerk and wants me to work, more. The wife is nagging about shoes in the wrong place, still. The mortgage needs to get paid again this month. Well, at least I have that daily affirmation to stay on the happy side of life, right?
Why does it seem like the only happy people telling me to keep positive are meditation gurus and unicorn posters? All these fancy memes pop up on my timeline and news feed, but the quotes are never quoted. Who’s writing these crazy ideas that we, the common folk, are trying to imitate? Maybe the yoga experts are getting together to take over the world with lolly-pops and sunflowers, bathe us in essential oils that we’re told we have to purchase from the holistic store, all while eliminating gluten and bacon from our diets.
Now, I’m not saying any of this is true. But if you thought you were reading my blog for honed information to take home to the unicorn poster, then you may want to keep reading.
For instance, help me find the positive gratitude in this situation…I had received a onesie for Christmas. Yes, you read that correctly. A onesie. A cute, fuzzy, full-body lounge around the house, snuggle on the couch, kind of onesie. And I’ll mention quickly, I’m not a onesie kind of gal. Luckily, my whole family got a humorous kick out of my humiliation by reciting A Christmas Story’s famous line, “Try it on, Ralphie.”
Just as young Ralphie did in the movie, I reluctantly headed down the hall dragging my fuzzy onesie by the arm and dusting the hardwood floor as I went. One leg into my not-so super power suit, I gathered the nerve to put in the next leg. Then I hoisted the remaining material up and over my shirt, because I had my dignity, right?
The mirror reflected an oversized Umpa-Lumpa wearing a powder blue onesie with a puffy white cloud spread across the chest. Maybe I should have found gratitude in the lack of footies, but I wasn’t feeling the yoga expert meditational advice at that moment. Instead, I heard the roar of laughter burst from several mouths, as I entered the kitchen where everyone always gathered.
If by chance, you’ve never been the butt of a joke, here’s what happens. Your vision narrows. The sights and sounds get blurry and muted like a Charlie Brown parent. Your world tips just enough on its axis that vomit starts to creep up your larynx. And that’s just the start of it. Then, you need to play it cool, like you’re enjoying the charade as the center of attention you didn’t expect to occur. No biggie. You got this, all while holding your composure while your sweet grandmother is holding your blushing cheeks, offering emotional support.
Should I find the positive moment in knowing the family came together and enjoyed a few moments at my expense? Should I write this event on a piece of paper and dump it into my Gratitude Jar? Maybe tomorrow. Today I’ll just read daily affirmations and try not to cry, because the tears might shrink my fuzzy onesie.
Thought of the Day: Friday the 13th falls on a Sunday this month. [Frank Joke, aka, a Dad Joke].