Everyone has that one friend. You know the one I’m talking about. That friend that’s so weird, he makes you feel sane.
Well, we need to talk about my friend.
We had flown three thousand miles across the country for a not-so-fun visit. But rather than discussing the sadness that enveloped the trip, we need to examine my ridiculous friend’s thought processes—because out of every tragic event, goodness occurs. And in this case, laughter was the best medicine.
Being we didn’t rent a car from the airport, we took a cab, yes a cab, to our destination…my friend’s house.
I’m not the biggest fan of having someone else pick out my groceries, so we asked to borrow his car to run a few errands, rather than have the goods delivered. I thought I’d seen all of his antics until he came busting out of the house as soon as the car revved.
To him, it was important to let the car warm up.
What I didn’t tell you, is that it was near a hundred degrees by the time we were leaving the garage. Call me crazy, but I think the car is pretty warm in those type of temperatures.
And just so y’all understand, I grew up in the Midwest and am slightly knowledgeable about warming up the car. My first vehicle was a ’79 booger green LeBaron and I often had to pop the hood, take off the carburetor lid, and shove a screwdriver in the butterfly to get my gem running in the winter’s cold…
Cold, friend, not hot!
He refused to allow us to even put the car in reverse until those RPM’s dropped. We couldn’t contain our wide eyes and hysterical laughter filled with a lot of snorting and hiccups for the five minutes it took for the engine to warm.
Was something wrong with the 2021 Subaru? When did this summer desert transform into a Midwest winter? Did I blink?
Now I’m crying/yelling/laughing at this point…It’s not a Model T, friend. No cranking necessary.
Sure, they don’t make cars like they did in 1978, but come on, carburetors are only found on vehicles with “Historical” license plates nowadays.
And I know this sounds crazy, but fuel injection has come a long way over the years. It’s almost like the fuel is blasted or injected directly into the engine. Are you going to warm up your electric car too?
Maybe we could go over a few things that actually do need warming up. I’ll keep the list short because I know your brain isn’t warmed up enough for all this reading.
The water for a shower needs a bit warming.
Soup needs some warming. Without steam, your nose juice won’t drip into the bowl.
You should warm up your muscles before a workout.
This list could actually take up too much space. Maybe think amongst yourselves for more creative ways to warm up.
Bottom line, he wasn’t listening to any of it, and frankly, I didn’t care because the situation was too hilarious and my friend was the butt of the joke. But like I said, we needed the laughter on such a somber weekend.
So, friend, if you’re reading this, I think I have an idea that might help. Next time you come to visit me, I’ll let you ride my tractor. Heck, why don’t you let it warm up a bit before increasing the throttle and putting it into drive.
In dedication to Lexi
03/17/2023 – 08/17/2023
A pitcher needs to warm up. My dog needs a minute to warm up to new people. Scooping ice cream is easier if you let it warm up on the counter for a few minutes first. And yes, if an electric car had to warm up, say at a stop light, you’d never get anywhere and folks would honk at you. You just got me started…now I’m all warmed up.